Top 5 Way to Marry a Woman. Laugh it up assholes, but this shit is true!!

#1 Marry a for money. - This is my personal favorite, and why it makes my number 1. Seriously consider marrying someone for the money. I don’t mean a 60,000 a year career gal, I mean a woman who is filthy stinking rich and spoiled beyond belief. I don’t give a shit if she a haggard ole 90 year old, it’s the money you want dipshit. Don’t cry to me about wanting to have love, or hot sex, you can go looking for love when the old gal is 10 feet under and you have a bank account bulging at the seams or you buy yourself a town somewhere and settle down. The whole town. As for hot sex, duh, do that on the side. I doubt you will find hotter sex than a prostitute, after all practice makes perfect and believe these women are well practiced.

#2 Marry a hot bodied woman, AKA the trophy wife. No where near as good as #1, but it still has it’s benefits. First off, you can show her off at conventions, business meetings, and social gatherings of all kinds. You can certainly impress your boss with her, and if she’s willing you can really make a lasting impression on him when your hot wife fools around with him. This is a great way to get that promotion because he will either be so damn grateful or so full of guilt he can’t pass over you. Plus it leaves to door open for black mail, just make sure you get some nice hot pictures. Sure, you can fuck your hot assed wife all night long every night, but big deal, you can always fuck hot women so don’t marry a hot assed wife unless you intend to get more mileage out of her than just getting some tail.

#3 A Cook and Clean wife. At this point you are setting your sites pretty damn low, but if you want to come home to a hot meal and a clean house, there is nothing wrong with having a wife who cooks and cleans. Of course, in my #1 you have servants to do all that, but hey if you don’t have the nuts to fuck a ninety year old, you’ll have to settle for the C & C wife. When looking for a C & C wife, try shopping around for a minority, preferably one from overseas Asia. Just don’t let her go making friends with our local native American girls, or she’ll become unreuley and then you find her spouting some shit about womens rights at you.

#4 Marry for love. This one is popular, but for the love of sex, don’t marry for love. If you marry a girl for love, you’ll find yourself broke off your ass with four kids running around. You’ll be working two separate jobs and never see her anyway, except to get together to decide which bills to pay and which ones will have to wait until next month. How long does the love last? Unlike in #1, where the money lasts for many many years and in #2 the hot body usually lasts for at least a decade and in #3 you can keep a C & C in business cooking and cleaning for 3 decades, statistics show that 80% of the time the love is gone within 5 years. Don’t fool yourself and say that your love is special and different, every poor son of a bitch who marry’s for love says this. Don’t do it friend!

#5 Someone to boss you around. I can’t even believe I am writing about this shit, but I see so many dumb asses who are really just looking to have a woman boss them around. What the fuck is wrong with you assholes? Hey, I don’t mind you taking these damn bossy bitches off the market, but what the hell man, why do you do it? Why in the hell do you want some bossy bitch telling you what you can and can not do? Didn’t you get enough of that from your mommy growing up? Not to mention that theses bossy bitches are never rich (#1) and they rarely… RARELY have a hot body (#2) and they certainly are not going to Coook and Clean (#3), hell they’ll have you cooking and cleaning you big pussy whipped buffoon. I want to set the record straight you dumb ass guys, everyone knows a guy or two who married #5 and we are all wondering what the fuck you see in that fat ass bitch who treats you like shit. What’s up my brother?

So there you have it, the top 5 ways to marry a woman. I suggest you pick within the top 3 because it drops off fast after that.

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