Evolution in the USA Shows More Evolved People Live In The North

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Every time I hear about some crazy back woods idea, I find myself reading about something going on in the south. By “The South”, I don’t mean South America, but rather the southern states of the USA.

What’s wrong with these people? I understand that a lot of inbreeding goes on there, but my gawd man, sometimes I am surprised that these people can walk on two legs without help!

Let’s take a look at Georgia, which has got to be one of the most privative places to live in all of the continental USA. (no, I didn’t forget about you Alaska, you are not in the continental United States, so you don’t count)

In Georgia, part of the United States of America, a country that proclaims itself the most free place to live in the entire world, All sex toys are banned. Period. If you even look at a banana like it might by a sex toy, you can go to jail.

In Georgia, it is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office. Now, if the dead body is anywhere else, you can use profanity, but God Dammit if you can use it in a funeral home or coroners office. You see, in Georgia, they obviously don’t realize that dead people can’t hear anymore.

In Georgia, donkeys may not be kept in bathtub. I guess this used to be a big problem with the state representatives. Everyone in Georgia feels safer knowing that no jack ass is allowed to take a bath. Incidentally, this has caused an explosion of smelly dirty people who refuse to take a bath because they were once called a Jack Ass.

In Georgia, no one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday. Yes, you are allowed to soak the rear of your pants in ice cream every other day of the week, but not on church day. It gets the pews all sticky, so it’s against the law.

In Clarke County in Georgia, If you want to read your favorite book in public to your friends, do it before 2:45 AM.
Yep, it’s against the law after that time. “Crazy northerners coming down here reading aloud like there some sort of big shot with them readin skills”

It’s also illegal for one to make a disturbing sound at a fair. It’s up to the police to determine if the sound you made was disturbing or not, so if you are the kind of person who makes sounds, it’s best to skip the fair entirely or you may face the full wraith of the southern bible thumping law.

In Atlanta, Georgia, it’s against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp. Find somewhere else to tie you giraffe!

It’s also against the law for one man to be on another man’s back. Giving a piggy back ride to a child, is still a gray area, especially if it’s a male child.

Columbus Georgia, in the home of the free, cussing over the telephone is against the law. It’s also illegal to carve your initials on a tree, even if it is your tree on your own property. Again, they don’t want Yankees showing off with making words or letters in front of folks.

Everyone also feels much safer now that no one may tease an idiot. So if you plan to vacation in Georgia (WHY?)don’t make fun of the locals there. It’s against the law.

The Klu Klux Clan is strong in Georgia, and even though Federal Law was pretty specific about hanging black folks and burning crosses on their lawns, the good ole boys in Columbus Georgia wanted to protect the rights of the racists, so they went ahead and passed this law: Crosses may be burned on someone else’s property, so long as you have their permission. So all ya got to do is get a signature and you can burn away baby!