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21

Feb

Nasty Movie Theatre Story

Posted by Johnny Outrageous  Published in Funny As Hell - Humor, JOhnny Outraegous, John Rants, Revenge, gross, nasty

I remember being at the movies with a buddy of mine back when I was in high school. I met him at the theater and he had THE NASTY girl from high school with him.

Every school has one. You know, the girl that holds the title for being the MOST NASTY. Tina was that girl for my school. Rumor had it that she once put a frozen hot dog up inside her and broke it off. According to the rumor, she had to go to the hospital in order to get it out. Pretty sick stuff.

There were other stories and what not, but suffice to say that she was the queen of nasty.

So my buddy, Jay, is sitting in the middle. I am on his left and Tina - Queen nasty - is on his right. I’m watching the movie minding my own damn business when I notice that Jay has his hand down in Tina’s pants. Real nasty stuff. I would have moved except I was on the isle seat and the movie house was packed.

Jay yanks his hand up and I turn to see what happened, half wondering what foul thing he discovered and half wondering if something down there had bit him. But instead, Jay shoves that nasty finger up into my face wiping it under my nose and asking me “Does that smell right to you?”

THAT SICK BASTARD.

Like a fricking race horse I was in the bathroom washing my face so hard I left three layers of skin in that sink.

That was a decade ago now. I am sure Jay has long since forgotten all about this event. But I… I have not.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

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